This is probably happening in your body, too
Our bodies have always been giving us signals. For example, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of having eaten too much. If you were taught as a child to finish everything on your plate, you likely learned to prioritize finishing what was on your plate even over what your body was telling you about how […]
This equation changed the holidays for me
Our brains are not ours alone. What our parents and family members say to us when we’re small directly affects how our brains grow. That’s why, this time of year, many of us start to feel dread about going back into the family systems in which our deepest relational patterns formed. In other words, we […]
What intergenerational healing looked like this October
his month I spent two weeks, unplanned, on the other side of the country from where I live. My grandmother was dying, and my brother and a friend and I traveled to sit with her in her final days. Many times in the past few months, I’ve been asked by friends and clients: How do […]
This truth about our bodies can change the world
Our bodies are meant to be accompanied. When neuroscientists tested how hard it was for people to walk up a steep hill, the study participants rated it difficult when alone, less difficult when with a stranger, and even less difficult when a loved one was with them. The same hill. In other words, it’s harder […]
What I Wish Every White Person Would Do
In 1955, my grandfather erased his name. He went from the German-Jewish Armin Boroschek to the “American” sounding Al Blaine. As a refugee, he was leaving behind his identity as an oppressed minority in a home country that had murdered his parents, siblings, and most of his extended family. He was taking on the new identity of an […]
What’s the difference between heaven and hell?
On my recent travels, I remembered a story I learned as a child as part of my Jewish education. In Hell, everyone is sitting at a long banquet table laden with the most delicious food. There is plenty for all. The plates are piled high all over the table, in reach of the people. But […]
If you get a pit in your stomach whenever you see them, it doesn’t have to be that way
When I was a classroom teacher, I had a colleague I couldn’t bear to work with. We were required to meet every week so that we would be teaching the same lessons to our respective students even though they had different teachers. I dreaded every single planning meeting. It was a complete waste of my […]
Why I Think I’m Beautiful
Recently, my friend and colleague Dianne was taking photos of me for the new website of our shared venture, Duet. She kept saying, “wow, you look so beautiful! I agreed. “Yes,” I said, “I do look beautiful!” And I told her how grateful I was to look at a picture of myself and like it. This was new […]
Free “Taster” Communication Workshops
Did you know that I offer a free “Intro to Nonviolent Communication” every month, open to anyone? You’ve probably been hearing about it in the news (Microsoft execs seem to like it), from your friends or co-workers, maybe from your therapist. Maybe you have the book sitting on your “to read” pile, or have been […]
Get in the Car or Shut the Door!
Recently I had to make a decision about a meeting I’d been invited to attend. I couldn’t decide. It didn’t feel quite right to go, but it didn’t feel quite right not to go, either. Does that ever happen to you? Saying yes doesn’t feel right, and saying no doesn’t feel right either. You want… […]
by Heart Light Digital