Conflict about quarantine? Three tips for quarantine conversations

Maybe you’re in self-quarantine with a roommate who seems more relaxed about social distancing than you are.

Or your sister is helping you with your kids while they’re at home, but you’re not trusting that she’s as vigilant as you’d like when she’s not at your house.

Or you’re negotiating quarantine with a partner you don’t live with, or someone you’re dating, and you haven’t known them long enough to quarantine together. You want to see them, but you feel torn visiting with them when you’re so strict about how close your kids get to the neighbors.

Or maybe you’re worried about your vulnerable-age parents who live in another state, or your children who are far from home and seem cavalier about the risks.

There’s a lot at stake, everyone’s handling loss differently, and it can be hard to have productive, time-sensitive conversations.

Try these 3 simple practices to start your conversations about quarantine:

1. Pause. Take a minute of silence together when you start the conversation. Give everyone a glass and a spoon next to serve as a bell. Agree that if anyone starts feeling tense, they can ring their bell and everyone will take another pause of a few breaths.

2. Check in. Have everyone share one appreciation and one loss from this experience.

3. Affirm your intentions for being in the conversation. For example, I might choose to hold my heart open to both myself and to you in this conversation, even though I’m scared.

Be gentle with yourself. Lean into the support structures that you know from before this time. Create new ones.

If you’d like more support for creating the connection you need in this time, join Josh, Nicole, and me for Skills for Communicating in Quarantine, a free 90 minute webinar on Wednesday, April 1. It’s free if you attend live.

Stuck in a particular, important conversation?

I’ve been supporting individuals, couples, and groups over Zoom for years. I don’t usually offer one-time coaching sessions, but because of the extraordinary circumstances I’m opening up my schedule for one time, 55 minute sessions for time-sensitive conversations that can have a profound impact on your next few weeks and months.

You’ll share your situation, and I’ll help you with tools and a next step to go back to the conversation with more confidence that you can find a solution that works for you and the other people involved.

Email me and I’ll let you know the details and how to sign up.

Sending love to you and gentleness in whatever losses you’ve weathered these last couple weeks,
Amanda